Life/Death Part I of a continuing series

I am drinking a Vermont Cider Jack and thinking about growing old and I don’t like the idea that much. It’s not that I want to off myself or anything like that. I just don’t look forward to aging.

Just before I started writing this I was watching a performance that the Rolling Stones did at the Isle of Wight festival last year. It’s amazing how they have aged and yet still perform their music so well. I guess it’s a combination of hard work, luck and of course money.

Money is everything when it comes to health, at least here in the USA. I had dinner with my parents tonight and before the waiter came I told them I was going to have a cocktail and asked if they were going to have one , I kinda knew the answer already but I asked anyway, My mom said,

” I’d love to join you but I can’t”

“Why?” I asked.

” I’m taking coumadin, it’s a blood thinner and so is alcohol ” she explained, “It’s a dangerous mix.”

“Well take less coumadin then. ” I replied.

She went on to show me some bruising under her arms. I guess another drawback to taking coumadin, other than the big one, no booze, is that you bruise easily as your blood is thinner.

I don’t want to give up on the good things, ice cream, sex, booze and just having fun.

I want to die fast, without having to make those choices. I want to enjoy myself while I am here because honestly I don’t really have the faith that I will be going to a better place. Besides if someone does have faith that they are going to a better place when they die , why do any of them worry about dying.

Shit, live hard, be kind, die….go to a better place. Seems like a good formula.

I don’t want to be setting up my pill box every week, staying away from fatty foods, abstinence is not part of my general make-up. I am not fat, but I could eat healthier…I say fuck it!!

I’m eating it, I’m drinking it, if you have it I’ll smoke it, if you share it I snort it. I am 50 years old. I’ve seen most of the rock bands I’ve ever wanted to. I’ve got three grown children, 3 grandchildren, I’ve had several fantasies come true, I’ve traveled all over the world, climbed many a mountain, loved many women and continue to enjoy sex every time I get a chance…If I died tonight, I’d say lived a full happy life.

I certainly don’t want to slowly wean myself off everything I like to stretch my life out, that’s not me.