When I die, PLease don’t be like this!!

My Brother-In-Law’s father died just over a year ago. His family is of Italian ancestry, but both his mother and father were born here in the U.S.

When his father passed he was 83 years old. In his later years he wanted to travel and despite suffering with congestive heart problems, walking around with a pacemaker inside him, diabetes and all the related problems that come with that disease, his father was always smiling when I saw him.

He did travel, even road on a camel on a trip to the Middle East maybe a year before he died. He went on Cruises, Disney World, Italy…he ignored many of the dietary restrictions that come along with diabetes.  A little less than a year before he died, he almost died from congestive heart failure. The Doctors were able to get him better and out of the hospital, but he knew he was on his last legs, but he took what he could get.  He lived,  living  one day at a time. He had as much fun as he could and I never saw him complain.

His wife is a religious woman, goes to church every day. His son, my brother-in-law, also goes to church regularly on Sunday. If I remember correctly the Catholic church tells us that when we die…we go to heaven. If that is true I am sure his dad is happy, but not the Wife, not the Son. They feel left behind, fated to go on in the shadow of their loss.

If they have such faith, if they believe so strongly in the church…What the fuck is going on with them??

They have been to a psychic for fucks sake, not once, but at least three times. His mother, surrounded by her 5 children and 5 grandchildren feels her life ended when her husband died.   In many ways my brother in law is the same.

There can be no joy now that dad is gone.

WTF !!

I can tell you for sure that Dad didn’t live his life like that and I am sure he wouldn’t want his wife and kids doing it.

I understand loss,  I am 50, I have experienced the passing of many friends and family. My girlfriend died in 2003 at the age of 37 years, it was hard for me.  I still miss her, but I try to remember the joy she brought to the world. Is she in heaven ? I put her there..I see her in flowers, butterflies I remember songs she loved and listen to them with her on my mind, in my heart. But I continue to live and to enjoy what I am given in life.

Please, when I die I hope that my family and friends have a party and have a good time. It’s ok to remember me, to be sad sometimes, but life is too short sometimes and I don’t want my kids, my grandkids, any of my family or friends to be maudlin over my death…We all die !!

At least I got to see Led Zeppelin as an original group, I saw the Celtics win a Championship and The Red Sox win the Series, I walked my daughter down the aisle, saw my kids grow up and felt proud to see how awesome they are…my life has been wild and crazy, good sometimes and bad others, I got no complaints!